Thank You, Jack Weiner.

Want Ads
Honourable Intent, Questionable Execution!

FOR SALE: Hundreds of bikinis for ridiculous figures.
FOR SALE: Diamonds, $20. Microscopes, $15.
USED CARS: Why go elsewhere and be cheated? Come here first!
AUTO REPAIR SERVICE: Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, and you’ll
never go anywhere again.
SEVEN OUNCES of choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered
in onion rings.
DINNER SPECIAL: Turkey, $5.95; Chicken or beef $4.95; Children, $3.95
WANTED: Woman to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Salary and
medical benefits.
THREE year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experienced preferred.
OUR bikinis are exciting. They are just the tops!
ILLITERATE? Write today for free help.
WANTED: Widower with school age children requires person to assume general
housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to the growth of the family.
SEMI-ANNUAL after Christmas Sale!
NOW THE SUPERSTORE: Unequalled in size, unmatched in variety,
unrivalled inconvenience!
DOG FOR SALE: Eats anything and is fond of children.
STOCK UP AND SAVE: Limit one.
TIRED of cleaning yourself? Let me do it!

(PS: Jack Weiner is my calculus prof. Friday specials are the best.)